afoodieslife.com

I wish my real life was as exciting as my Facebook status updates. I wrote that as a status update on my Facebook page the other day and it’s kind of true. I mean, on Facebook, you see pictures of me with Amy Grant, I brag that I’m going to see Louis CK.   You see me with my friends.

But I don’t ever post the dread.  I don’t post that I was in such a funk yesterday that once I got home from work I could hardly leave the house.  Why?  I don’t know.  I had all these plans to go for a walk, go grocery shopping, at the last minute I was going to see Bill Cosby in Albany.   I stopped myself from that one because I reminded myself of my bills and how I’m always crying poor.  It’s because I do stuff like that.

Truth is that my life is pretty exciting.  I get to do a lot of cool things but we live in a society that it’s never enough.  Hanging out at the clubs in Providence last weekend made me realize how alone I feel.  How I never take chances when it comes to romance.  I really want to work on that part of my life.  I have a lot to offer someone, so many all this working on myself will help that. I’m totally rambling but I think you all know what I mean.

One of the real reasons I was mad at myself yesterday was that I went to the bar on Friday night, sat down, and my friend brought me a coffee with hot chocolate in it.  He said ‘it would be better with alcohol in it.’  I told him to go ahead and do it.  And just that brief little slip made me angry with myself.  I know it’s balance and I have start adding a few things in to keep me satisfied.

Damn, sounds like I have a lot to work on!  Have a great Sunday everyone!